What do Soccer and Writing Have in Common?

I had the opportunity to watch some of my nephew’s soccer game recently on a sunny afternoon in Maine. There was the familiar crispness in the air that was clear as a bell, the faint smell of the ocean on the rise. A perfect day for soccer. As I watched the game I listened to the coach on the sidelines interacting with the players.

“Jake, keep on him, guard the goal! Brian, give him an opening then let him know you’re there!”

It just sounded like constant chatter. Admonishments. Could the players even hear the coach?

The coach’s instructions continued and I listened a little closer. After a while, I realized that he wasn’t correcting the players so much as he was providing feedback, offering ideas and ways to improve their game and to make the team more cohesive. And he didn’t skimp on the positive feedback either.

I started thinking about how much the player / coach relationship is like the writer / reviewer relationship. Your editors and reviewers provide you with feedback, very valuable feedback, and it pays to listen.

I’ll be the first one to admit that when you start getting good critiques, it’s a bit hard to take. Your first instinct is to defend what you’ve written. My initial thoughts ran something like this:

What does he mean that section brings the narrative to a screeching halt? It’s the best part of the whole chapter!! He’s crazy! No WAY am I removing it.

Well, I could have written it that way, but I meant it THIS way. Tough toenails if she doesn’t like it!

If you’re fortunate to have in-person critique sessions, then you’re probably listening to the feedback, nodding in agreement, while the whole time picturing in your mind the reviewer burning in effigy for such a heinous affront. Of all the nerve, to insult your hard work by pointing out where something doesn’t work and improvements that could be made!

It’s not easy building up that layer of calloused skin that allows you to consider all feedback for the purpose it serves, which is to help you improve your product and your craft. And like the feedback provided by the soccer coach, it’s not meant to be negative because it comes from a place of love. Your editors and reviewers all want you to be the best that you can be, they want you to succeed.

When your first instinct is to reject the suggestions, accept the feedback graciously. Then sleep on it. Consider it again the next day, and you’ll realize that your reviewers have some valid points. Try stepping away and look at your work from their objective perspective. This is not easy when it’s your baby, your blood sweat and tears that they’re “bashing.” But in time, it does get easier and you’ll see the value in having others read your writing early and often.

The reviews they give you are a gift—don’t look the gift horse in the mouth.

--TR, November 2010

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